What Is Radical Relating?
Radically Relating may be your deepest longing, yet no one has shown you how to do it. New skills are required. These skills are from Archearchy, next culture - the culture that naturally emerges as Matriarchy and Patriarchy have run their course. So many pre-existing conditions may interfere with your attempts at Radical Relating. For example, you are not even initiated into simple adulthood. You are terrified of becoming present and scared to death of connecting with another Being. You are so frightened of being truly seen. You have unhealed childhood wounds, and your Gremlin undermines intimacy to keep you in your familiar isolation. All these challenges are worth intelligently engaging... because Radical Relating is possible, and we find it to be excellent. Radical Relating replaces culture.
Map of Radical Relating
Radical Relating starts with being Present with yourself in a Minimized Now.
In a minimized NOW there is no time.
Stories exist in time.
Therefore, in such a minimized NOW, there is no room for Stories.
In this condition, you have the Possibility of:
- Radical Reality
- Radical Honesty
- Radical Responsibility
- Radical Reliance (e.g. on E.C.C.O., on your Bright Principles, on your Archetypal Lineage, etc.)
- Ongoing nonlinear creation from the Adult and Archetypal Ego States.
Components Of Radical Relating
The basis of intimacy is letting yourself be known.
- Clinton Callahan
Hints For Radical Relating
experimental guidelines for how to create and explore radical relating
START BY DYING
This hint is about Minimizing your NOW until it is so small that there is no room for the past or the future, only for the tiniest immediate present moment. New skills are required to stay in this Minimized NOW, a skillset called Become Present.
When you Minimize your NOW, there is no more 'have to', or 'must', or 'supposed to be', because all these rules or expectations come from external authority figures, not from yourself. They are no longer part of you.
Suddenly, without the past to complain or be nostalgic about, and without a future to be afraid of or to try to control, those previous domains dissolve away like a mirage.
Your 'big life' dies. Distractions disappear. What remains in a Minimized NOW is the same as what remains after an 'air burial' (an 'air burial' is when you leave a corpse at the top of the mountain for the vultures, ravens, rats, flies, ants, and wild dogs to devour...) namely, nothing.
In this Minimized NOW you have the space in which to consider:
"What do I want to speak about with this person across from me before they die?"
"What would be the most important for me to share with them if this is our last moment together?"
"What do I want to do with them before I have no chance to do anything with them ever again?"
This is what you can do together now - the essential, the core, the basic, the authentic, the real.
This is how to begin Radical Relating. Die first.
PULL THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER YOURSELF
The 'Rug' is what you stand on to 'be yourself' in the world. The 'Rug' is your beliefs, conclusions, assumptions, projections, talents, interpretations, memories, positionality, whatever you use to make your current experience have meaning to you right now.
You know best what the Rug is for you, because you keep secrets from others about what is 'true for you' that you hold onto like a life raft so they cannot get to you.
This means you are also the one best one to pull the Rug out from under your own feet.
If you successfully 'pull the Rug out from under your own feet', then you will be standing on nothing.
As the Buddhist monk Pema Chodron says, "The nature of reality is groundlessness."
You no longer have pretense.
You are no longer legitimized.
You lack all confirmation.
Nothing certifies your reason for Being.
You have achieved meaninglessness, a moment of no bullshit.
Cherish this experience.
The bullshit-less state is rare in modern human experience.
Because you have done this to yourself, you have no one to blame for any discomforts. Discomforts are caused by stories. No stories, no discomforts.
Keep breathing.
Keep falling.
VULNERABILITY
Vulnerability as a skill of Radical Relating is far from the concept of vulnerability in New Age context.
It is considered that being vulnerable means to cry, or be sad, or share where you are stuck or a victim, where you don't know, where you need help. Vulnerability is often equated with weakness. Being able to be weak is a powerful skill, and gift. Being authentically weak is being vulnerable.However, vulnerability is not limited to being weak.
You are vulnerable:
- When you say what you want, and what you don't want
- When you make boundaries,
- When you take a stand for the stand that you take
- When you commit
- When you commit to someone else's commitment
- When you refuse to be sucked into someone's bullshit
- When you hold your sword at people's neck
- When you stand in your own clarity and power
That is (also) being Vulnerable.
Because you are at risk, because you are taking a risk. Because you are not protecting yourself being your Box and Gremlin survival strategy.
Being vulnerable is being authentic.
Being vulnerable is radically relating.BULLSHIT
Most of what you say is Bullshit. You are so Contaminated and identified with your Box that you barely speak from your Adult Ego-state.
In order to Radically Relate, become committed to the person in front of you. Be so committed to them, that you Shift Identity into the Archetype of the Warrior or Warrioress, Sword of Clarity in hand, and do not tolerate any of their Bullshit. Not one moment. Every time they speak from their Child Ego-state, tell them. Every time they speak from their Gremlin or Parent. Every time they are speaking or behaving as their Box, thinking that they are being themselves, tell them.
Shifting Identity into the Archetype of the Warrior or Warrioress is scary. You are entering Archetypal Domains. The Archetypal demands you to be able to withstand uncompromising forces of nature. Clarity, for example, is uncompromising: it happens or it does not. To hold a space of relationship with Clarity takes unwavering commitment. It takes commitment to the other person, and to yourself. To hold the space for Clarity to happen even if your Box is completely freaking out. Even if you are breaking all your childhood courtesy rules. If you let anything 'slide by' your Sword, the flow of power coming from the Clarity stops.
You can not Be-With another Being when they are in their Bullshit (let alone when you are in your own Bullshit). Tell them: "I want to Be-With you. The real you; your Being. Not your Child, not your Gremlin, your Box or your Parent. You." If you don't say what you want, then you are lying to yourself. This is Radical Honesty.
STAND ON NOTHING
Who are you if there is no problem? No conflict? No tension? No plan? No goal? Nothing you are supposed to be doing?
HOLD NO ASSUMPTIONS
The moment you assume anything about the person in or group infrount of you, you are in story world. You have exited the place of radicale relating and started a subtle (or huge) war with the Boxes and Gremlins of the others. Notice when you start assuming somthing and instead of running with it. Drop it, let it fall dead on the ground, start again from your raw real experience, right now with what is. Do not budge, by letting assumptions crawl back up your legs.
USE 'NOT-KNOWING' AS A RESOURCE
The moment you do not know, you get to invent. The thing about this is that it is not about playing childish games. The moment you do not know, instead walk inside the not knowing by letting your self feel the amount of energy is avalible in the not knowing. All this relating is really about coming closer. Come closer in the not knowing. Exactly the moment you are thinking that have no idea what to do. Stay there. This means you are coming closer. You are coming closer becuase the part that knows something is mostly your box, or your mental body. It is in the not knowing that you are really coming closer. This means that you can learn to use the not knowing as a resource for your life.
"Oftentimes, what we say we want is real in words only. If we ever understood the genuine desires of our hearts in any given moment, we might reconsider the things we waste out energy pining for". - Malidoma Patrice Some OF WATER AND THE SPIRIT
LEARN TO FLY
Learn to move while Liquid. That means if your world is moving, or your "assemblage points" are rearraging themselves. You are changing your Point of Origin, do not try to put yourself together, instead use the new found space to try out your wings. Stand in the groundlessnes to speak with someone that you are aching to speak to about what you are aching to speak about. Stay in the groundlessness of the space of someone you love. Flying is inevitable, really if you have let go of enough Baggage. If you heal your Emotions, if Your Being holds enough Distinctions you will eventually have to learn to fly. In reality there is groundlessness. Learn to say exactly what needs saying right now in this moment and not a minute after.
IT ONLY TAKES ONE...
If you are not reacting, why would the other person react to you?
If you do not defend your opinions, then the other person does not have to defend theirs. They are finally safe around you. You can be together.
If your Gremlin is not attacking the other person for their Box being different from yours, then their Gremlin does not have to attack your Box. The Gremlins can relax and you can find a completely new way of being together.
Radical Relating Experiments
"How might each of us resolve our alienation - from each other, from our societies, from nature, from our own place in the universe?"
- Paul Chefurka
One way is to actively invent culture, one radical relationship at a time.
START WITH NATURE AS YOUR RELATING PARTNER
Matrix Code RADRELAT.01
Nature can reflect you back to you. It is able to be a gentle mirror in which you can practise letting yourself be seen. This is called counternance - when consciousness witnesses its self and fulls in Love.
Use Nature as a relating partner by learning to be witnessed. In this way you are creating intimacy with nature. Nature is anything from a pot plant in your kitchen or a beetle walking the back garden. Nature is the sky, it is the ocean, it is the mountain.
You can do this experiment for any length of time. However, start with 10 minutes.
- Choose a piece of nature to be with eg pot plant
- Centre, ground and bubble yourself.
- Breath deep into your body and out.
- Start with your eyes closed, either sitting or laying down,
- Rest into yourself, by letting yourself be heavy on the ground, so that Gaia holds you.
- Allow gravity to keep you heavy on the ground, such that you are no longer holding yourself together or up.
- Stay awake, however you may experience being on the edge of sleep, if this happens, that is ok.
- Gently open your eyes, as you do so allow the light to arrive at your eyes without needing to go out to ‘get’ it.
- Receive the light rather than pushing to get at the light.
- Start to come into contact with the plant/tree/nature that you are with.
- Let it into you rather than needing to pin it down with your eyes. Stay with it. Let the sensations and feelings flush through your body.
- Let yourself cry and rage, grief. Let all the sounds out as you do so.
- Keep breathing and sinking deeper through the layers.
- Next : Reclaim your Fear in nature
- As a human with a nervous system, you are designed to feel your Fear freely. Learn to be intimate with nature by allowing yourself to feel how scared you really are.
- Go alone, do it with nature as your spaceholder.
- Be somewhere that you will not be disturbed.
- And that you can make sounds.
- Set a timer for 20 minutes.
- Start to let waves of your own fear come up, as a human living in modern culture this will be Emotional Fear caught in your system.
- Let it come up all the way, let yourself shake, make sounds, let your fear happen.
- Do not try to force it, or impress nature or fool nature, just feel your fear.
- Whatever fear is like in your body, scan for knots in your body.
- Scan for heat, knots, tensions or tingles, let it shake and flow.
- Learn to get to know your fear from the inside, with nature as your space holder.
- After 20 minutes, with your intention place your fear in your nervous system.
- Take a couple of deep breaths and arrive here.
Welcome to a new relationship with the world.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.01 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write one word to describe your experience. This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
LET YOUR BEING BE WITNESSED
Matrix Code RADRELAT.02
- With a spaceholder set aside a 20 minute meeting for you to feel.
- The space holder’s job is to witness you so that you can go where you need to go inside yourself and feel what you need to feel.
- The spaceholder is to be Centred, Grounded and Bubbled and from there to place their Attention on you.
- Feel everything you feel. Keep your eyes closed.
- The spaceholder keeps their eyes open and their heart open too so that they can be with you, with their Emotional Body.
- The purpose is to be witnessed by another consciousness, in this consciousness is witnessing itself.
- After 20 minutes the spaceholder closes the space and asks you to check your centre, grounding cord and bubble and to breathe in and out of your nose.
- Swap roles, so you each get a turn.
- They then close the space.
- That is the end of the experiment
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.02 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing that happened for you.
This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
BECOME VULNERABLE BY TAKING A STAND
Matrix Code RADRELAT.03
When you show what you really care about and what matters to you, you are vulnerble. Do this experiment in a Rage Club or as part of your 3 Cell.
To discover what you care about, learn to consciously feel your Rage, what you are angry about is what you care about.
In your three cell, set a timer for 5 minutes. One person goes first, the others hold space, and say go!
Part A
- Centre, Ground and Bubble yourself, follow the links if you do not know how to do this.
- Consciously rise your anger
- Let it flow up from your feet let the sounds pop out and start speaking the first things that come to you
- Let your Anger bring all the information it has. It could be at first that you are ngry because you forgot to put the rubbish out, then it could be that you are angry at the neighbours, your dog, your hair etc.. Let your Rage be totally unreasonable. Keep going and uncover more of what you are angry about.
- What matters is that you stay in the energy of anger in your body and don't censor yourself, you keep speaking even if it seems ridiculous.
- After 5 minutes, write down everything you said and have your team help you remember.
- Each person has a go.
Part B
- Look at your list of what you are angry about and distil each thing to what it is that you care about behind the rage.
- Share with your team.
- Choose one of the things you care about.
Part C
- For three minutes again access the energy of your anger to distil from “what you care about” to what it is that you take a stand for:
- Stand up and with the full energy and information of anger state exactly what it is that you take a stand for, say it with Clarity, Integrity and Authenticity. Use your team to give you Feedback and Coaching on making your stand in your Five Bodies.
The process could look like this:
A I'm so angry cucumbers are wrapped in plastic at the supermarket
B I care about humans not using plastic, I care about the earth
C I take a stand for zero plastic in my fridge and pantry.
- Continue to be a stand in your real life. Take A Stand in your relationships, be witnessed embodying your stand,
- Be in contact with others, by not giving the stand to your gremlin to manipulate and hide, instead practise using your Real Voice to say yes and no, make Boundaries, say what you want, what works and what does not.
- Stay visible with your stand by letting your Bright Principles come to life through Your Being.
- Move from impulses that arise from the place of Authenticity that your stand has created in you. Eg become vulnerable by clearly asking the butcher to not use plastic, instead bring your own containers.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.03 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write what you took a stadn for. This experiment is worth 3 Matrix points.
BE THE SOURCE OF CREATIVE COLLABORATION HAPPENING
Matrix Code RADRELAT.04
- Choose someone you want to Radically Relate with to do this experiment.
- Choose something to do that will take a minimum of one hour (e.g. climb a mountain, build a garden, go to a dinner restaurant).
- Invite the person on an intimacy journey and tell them what the thing is, ask them if they want to do that too.
- If they say yes, agree on a time and date and shake hands on it.
- There are only two agreements to make crystal clear with your partner (apart from the usual rules: do not hurt yourself, do not hurt anyone else, do not hurt the environment and do not get arrested).
- First you complete the thing (e.g. if it is a meal you stay until the end of the meal, if you are planting seedlings you stay until the seedlings are planted, if you are climbing a mountain you stay until the mountain is climbed). Secondly you both say continuously what you want, do not wait for the other to choose.
- Whilst doing the thing, both of you are Choosing constantly the whole way through. If your wants clash, start negotiating and make proposals. (by the way “I want you to decide” is clever to not actually do this experiment, do not let your gremlin take that door).
- Stay Centred, Grounded and Bubbled throughout and Commit to the experience that you both committed to happening. Do not let your Boxes choose what you want , instead let your being be heard the whole time, I want this, what do you want?
- The purpose is to be in a space of continuous co-creation.
- Feel your Feelings and use the energy and information of them to go into contact and make offers.
- After completing this experiment, you will be a new person, your relationship with this person will never be the same. You will both be so fed by the adventure that is possible that your being will be hungry for more.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.04 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name the activity you did. This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
BUILD A GAMEWORLD FROM THE GAP BETWEEN BUBBLES
Matrix Code RADRELAT.05
- When two or more people are together in the Adult Ego State, their Bubbles do not touch nor overlap. Instead there is a tiny gap through which Bright Principles can flow. They are not letting their Gremlins eat up precious time together. Rather they are consciously using the energy and information of their Feelings to be the source of a different Context and culture.
- Practise inventing in the space that emerges between your bubble and someone elses.
- Take a deep breath, place your energetic center on top of your physcial center, declare your grounding cord and personal bubble of space.
- Making authentic contact with another person.
- Notice the quality that emerges between your bubbles. Notice the bright principles that flow through that gap. Start to name them.
- Be in the extreme lightness of being a centred grounded bubbled alive human being with another person.
- Every interaction and offer you make from that place is sourcing a Gameworld.
- Invite others to be in the space that emerges in the gap between your two bubbles.
- Use the Bright Principles flowing through to source adventures, offer proposals and experiments that other people can be part of.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.05 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one gameworld, invented between your two bubbles. This experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points.
BE WITH THE BEAUTY OF YOUR OWN UNDEFENDED HEART
Matrix Code RADRELAT.06
- This experiment starts by going through regular EHPs, at least one a week for 6 weeks. To create space inside yourself to start Noticing your different Parts. Then to experience the intensity of living with an undefended heart.
- When you have clarity between a Feeling and Emotions, start to get to know Your Gremlin by enrolling in a chapter 0 Gremlin Transformation.
- With a spaceholder, answer these questions, the space holder's job is to ask you the questions and navigate you to fully feel the whole way through. This means you find the answers in your emotional body. You can not find the beauty of an undefended heart in your head, instead feel your feelings, you might cry, or scream or yell, let yourself grief.
The questions to ask:
1. What happened to you?
2. Who did this to you?
3. Why did they do this to you?
4. What does this Wound do to your inner world?
5. What does this Wound do to your relationships?
6. What does this wound do to your ability to take actions or create consciously?
7. Why does this incident still leave you powerless?
8. How does your Gremlin feel empowered from this Wound?
9. How does your Gremlin use this Wound as a weapon against yourself or against
others?
10. How does your Gremlin use this Wound to ‘protect’ you?
11. What is the unmet need connected with that wound?
Once you have done this your heart will be undefended, walk around in your daily life with an undefended heart, by going into contact with people and in your relationships without needing to close your heart.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.06 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name the unmet that your gremlin has been using to protect your heart. This experiment is worth 4 Matrix points.
ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT
Matrix Code RADRELAT.07
- Set a timer for 12 minutes
- Meet in a three cell
- One person coaches
- One person is the Posibilitator
- One person is the spaceholder
- The spaceholder askes the Posibilitator the question what do you want?
- Possibilitator starts by saying the first things that come up for them, let these first things be top layer things, Box wants, Child wants, Gremlin wants, just say them.
- The coach coaches the space holder to ask the questions that open the next layer for the Possibilitator so they can find the next layer to their clarity.
- The Possibilitator keeps going to feel more what they want, what they stand for, what clarity they have, what their heart truly wants right now.
- The spaceholder opens their heart and lets their bright principles holdspace for the being of the Possibilitator to come forward and say exactly what they want in ways they might not ever have known they wanted before.
- They clearly say everything that they find. Letting the energy of their Rage carry the information out of their being.
- Coach also writes down all the things that the being wants. They do this by Scanning how each want lands in their being. Then use the information from their being as a gauge.
- After 12 minutes swap roles. Ensure each person gets to be the Possibilitator.
- Use this experience as your compass to continuously say what you want in all your relationships.
Once you know what you want, go for it and let everything else fall where it may.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.07 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing you want. This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
PULL THE RUG OUT FROM UNDER YOURSELF, MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY
Matrix Code RADRELAT.08
- Start by learning to minimise your Now.
- Set your timer to go off every hour for a whole day.
- Make your now so small that it only fits right here right now,
- Start by making it only three seconds.
- Ask yourself these questions: What am I feeling right now? What is right now? What do I want right now?
- Then go and do one thing that is revealed to you in this small now.
- Use the energy and information of your feelings to access the groundlessness of now.
- If you are scared do not pretend you are not, instead let your fear run through your nervous system and follow it into the unknown of this small tiny now.
- Use the gap in knowing, to do something you would not normally do. Follow your fear to check for all the conversations that you are avoiding having. Start having them.
- Speak to someone you are scared of.
- Invent in the unknown by speaking before you have it all figured out,
- Tell someone what happens in your heart when you are with them.
- Speak from your internal low dramas, be radically honest by revealing what is happening in the small now.
The purpose is to catch yourself trying to hold things together, instead let yourself be in the groundlessness of experience without defending yourself or needing to intellectually know.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.08 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one way you pulled the rug out from under yourself. This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
STEP OUT OF SURVIVAL MODE WITH ONE OF YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Matrix Code RADRELAT.09
1. Scan for a relationship where you are in survival mode. Eg you might notice that you are contracted in this space. You might notice that your emotional fear feeds you stories that you mustn’t get it wrong/you have to always act a certain way with this person. Or your “box” has rules for how it should go (eg I must always slip into child ego state rather than saying what I want). If you are doing this you are abusing yourself by suppressing your wisdom, life force and manipulating yourself to stay a certain way for the benefit of keeping things the same and not disturbing what is.
2. This is the exact relationship for you to experiment with radical relating.
3. Arrange a time to speak with them.
4. Lay all your cards on the table by saying exactly what you want and do not want.
5. Choose to say exactly what you want and set about creating it.
6. Follow your joy in the process, by telling the person what you love and what you hate. Stick to those two things with this person, use your love and hate to callibrate your internal compass, to what you want to be creating.
7. Instead of needing to stick to the rules of this relationship, make all your survival strategies optional.
8. Have a conversation with the person and immediately skip the usual part and instead go straight to the reality of being with them.
9. Ask for what you want, tell them what you feel, make a wild proposal, put all your cards on the table, make an extraordinary offer of intimacy.
10. Choose to never again slip into a box relating with them. Instead embody your alive human beingness.
11. Write down every single EHP that comes up whilst you are with them, do not let your Beep Book out of your sight.
12. Go through every EHP that comes up in connection to this one relationship.
13. Start by going through the first one.
14. Every time you notice you are slipping into box relating, choose creation and invention how the other person reacts is none of your business.
15. Simply do the next thing and let everything fall where it may.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.09 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write one thing you did to come out of survival relating with this person. This experiment is worth 3 Matrix points.
MAKE OFFERS FROM SOMEWHERE OTHER THAN YOUR BOX
Matrix Code RADRELAT.10
Box offers are familiar. They have a texture and quality to them that are familiar, like stepping onto a tarseal road that you know leads to the cornershop, with the same milk on the same shelf and the cashier waiting to ask if you want your receipt…
- Write yourself a licence to go Non Linear at all times.
- Write the title “qualities of and doorways to box intimacy”, in your BeepBook. Start to note down all the sentences, textures, thought patterns and qualities that you notice making up Your Box.
- You are sensitising yourself to what a box offer is, instead, choose to go into contact from somewhere other than your box.
- How are you? Is a doorway to a Box relating.
- Do not take it.
- Instead use your licence, lower your numbness bar, authentically feel what you are feeling and speak from you feelings instead.
- Turn to your Archetypal Lineage and ask right here, right now, what is needed from me? Do that, no matter how big or small.
- Make offers from your centre, before your box has its say.
- When speaking with someone, start with “I have something for you…” then simply keep letting something other than your box land new ideas, distinctions or clarity in their being.
- Make proposals every time you notice your box is leading the conversation, or your gremlin is complaining or wanting to create low drama.
- Make contact from your Being to the other’s Being and let the experience of that give you the information for what is needed right here, right now.
- Practise relating from somewhere other than your box, with three different people over the next three days.
- Then do this experiment over and over for the rest of your life.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.10 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing that emerged when it was not your box making the decision. This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
COLLABORATE WITH GAIA FOR HEALING TO HAPPEN
Matrix Code RADRELAT.11
Practise radically relating with Gaia as a field of energy and information. Practice tapping into gaia as an intelligence to flow healing or collaboration into your relationships.
- Every day for the next week go outside to a natural place and nourish your connection to Gaia.
- Set a timer for 10 minutes. It is best to do this as soon as you wake up, or see if you can choose the same place and the same time every day.
- When you sit, place your energetic centre on top of your physical centre and declare your grounding cord. When you do this, notice how it locks into the energetic centre of gaia. Notice how it does that. What happens when it connects to Gaia. Notice the shapes, colours, and mechanism of connection, place special attention on the opening of the tube so that energy and information flows in both directions. Towards you from Gaia and from you to Gaia, this is one of the points of contact between you and Gaia.
- Declare your bubble of space.
- As you sit, see if you can rest into the field of Gaia, notice that the physical aspects that you can feel with your physical body are also points of contact with Gaia. See if you can relax around the parts of your physical body that are in connection with Gaia.
- Notice also other ways in which you can sense Gaia. How do you make contact with this field intelligence? What information comes through? What do you pick up on? Can you sense things that are beyond your physical body? Sink deep into your experience and let yourself be held by sensations, do you get images? Do you taste or smell things? Do you feel sensations through you?
- During the week your job is to then use what you experience in your 10 minutes of sitting to flow towards someone or something else.
- If you walk into a room or physical place that is “off” in some way, for example your energetic body picks up on contracted, dense parts, or their stuck energy in the room. Centre ground and bubble yourself, then declare a golden cube around the space and call in the bright principle of Gaia, let it flow through your bodies, just as it did as you sat. The purpose is to use the freely available. infinite energy and information in the field of Gaia as a collaborator in relating to the world and spaces.
You are radically relating with Gaia.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.11 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one way Gaia collaborated with you. This experiment is worth 3 Matrix points.
COMMIT TO ANOTHERS COMMITMENT, EVEN MORE THAN THEM
Matrix Code RADRELAT.12
Commitment changes the shape of your being. There are many people committed to their path of evolution and healing. Even these brave, clear edge workers can confuse themselves and get caught in swamps, low dramas, vampires can come and suck out their energy and they can get themselves wonderfully overwhelmed.
1. Commit to someone else's commitment to their evolutionary path.
2. Follow every impulse that comes up from that radical commitment. Be that commitment in action.
3. Let yourself be moved by the information you receive from that commitment. Eg call them up, hold space for them to feel, make an appointment for them, hold your sword at their necks, handle things for them, ask them what is really going on.
4. Be so commited to them that they are able to be radically honest with exactly where they are at.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.12 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name name one action you took in your radical comittment to another. This experiment is worth 3 Matrix points.
HEAL YOUR EMOTIONAL FEARS OF THE UNIVERSE
Matrix Code RADRELAT.13
You are in a benige universe. Every story, beleive, assumption or lable you have about anything in life or yourself is an emotional fear and is a doorway to healing. It belongs in the past.
learn to celebrate finding another peice of your life to be integrated back to where it belongs. In your past.
This is a specific fear of the universe to be healed.
- Go with someone
- Go outside at night somewhere that you can see the stars.
- Lay on the ground and look at the stars.
- Have your beepbook with you
- As you do so start to let your numbness bar down to your fear, so that you can feel it.
- Notice if you immeaditaly have stories running about anything, if you do (such as what star is which, even stories about this being beautiful or wonderful or anything like that. Write down every story you have in your beepbook.
- Then navigate to your fear again.
- Over the next week go through at least three Emotional Healing Processes related specifically to your fear's of the universe.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.13 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one healign process you went through in regards to your emotional fears of the universe. This experiment is worth 2 Matrix points.
BECOME VULNERABLE BY MAKING STATEMENTS, PROPOSALS AND BRINGING CLARITY.
Matrix Code RADRELAT.14
- Choose an activity to do with another person.
- Make it at least three hours long
- For the entire time do not ask any questions. Instead, find ways to make statements, declare, say what you want , and become visible by stepping out of the ordinary mode of needing information from the outside.
- Stay centred, grounded and bubbled the whole time.
- Each time you notice that you are wanting to ask a question. Instead feel what you are feeling and check, if you already know something it is just that you are wanting confirmation or reassurance from the outside.
- When you notice you have a necessity to ask a question, instead state what you notice, how it is for you, what you are noticing, sensing or picking up on.
- Practice making a proposal instead of asking for more information.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.14 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one declaration you made that was not a question!
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Point.
MOVE FROM EVERY IMPULSE
Matrix Code RADRELAT.15
- Go and do something with one or more people.
- Make a proposal for an activity.
- Whilst doing it you follow every impulse you have.
- Use Collaborative Communication to create possibilties whilst staying in contact with other people.
- Say what your impulse is, if it has to do with the other people, then make offers, invitations and proposals to them. Eg ``I have the impulse to get in the river.. Will you join me?” or "I have the impulse to place my hand on your back, do you have any resistance?”
- Do this for a minimum of 3 hours.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.15 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing you noticed about following your impulses.
This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Point
BE WITH THE BEAUTY OF ANOTHER’s UNDEFENDED HEART
Matrix Code RADRELAT.16
- Go to at least three Heart Gyms
- Ask your partner if they would be willing to experiment with you, would they be willing to trust you with something as vulnerable as their heart.
- If they say yes, set aside 30 minutes to be with them as they reveal their heart.
- Center, Ground and Bubble yourself
- Ask them: "what is really going on for you? I really want to know and I am willing to listen".
- If they say ‘nothing’, stay with them and ask again, "I really want to know, I want to hear how it is in your world".
- Be with the top layer things, it might be logistics, fears, worries, stay with them, keep your own heart open and let your fear run in your nervous system by intentionally sending it there, while keeping your numbness bar low.
- Let your feelings be there as you stay with them. Do this by not numbing yourself. Ratehr lean into the groundlessness of feeling and being with out story or needing to fix the other. You do not need to say anything, simply be with them and let your heart be nourished by your own feelings as they reveal their heart to you.
- After 30minutes, thank them and share with them, how it was for you to witness their heart speaking.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.16 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing you experienced while being with the beauty of another's undefended heart. This Experiment is worth 3 Matrix Points.
TELL THE TRUTH
Matrix Code RADRELAT.17
- Experience Radical Relating by going first to reveal the truth, Say what you are really thinking and what you are really up to.
- Find a partner, set a timer for 10 minutes.
- Center, ground and bubble yourself.
- The spaceholder declares a Golden Cube and calls in their Bright Principles.
- You start as the Possibilitator, the other person. Holds an Adult Listening space.
- The listener asks you a question that will enable you to reveal more of what is happening for you. Something like: “What are you not saying?” or "what is really going on for you?"
- Reveal yourself by Feeling your Fear consciously to find any thing you are not saying.
- There are always thousands of things that you are saying or telling, trust your fear to reveal these to you.
- The spaceholder, holdspace for you to feel and gives completion loops to know you are heard.
- The Spaceholder can practise using a Black Hole to disappear any excess energetic or emotional charge in the space, so that the Possibilitator can continue to feeling and reveal more of what is really going on for them.
- The Possibilitator keeps speaking for 10 minutes
- The spaceholder navigates the possibilitator to feeling by giving completion loops and Asking the next question.
- After 10 minutes, the spaceholder thanks the Possibilitator, both continue feeling, with their hearts open.
- Swap roles. So both can have a turn.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.17 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing you could reveal when you told the truth.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
EXPERIENCE RADICAL MENTAL BODY INTIMACY
Matrix Code RADRELAT.18
- Find a partner, set a timer for 5 minutes. One person goes first as the Experimenter, the other Holdspace.
- Center, ground and bubble yourself, keep your centre throughout this experiment. If you notice you're losing your centre, pause, recenter yourself and start again.
- Connect with your Mental body and start to notice how it works.
- Describe in detail how your Mental Body acts as a Survival Strategy.
- Describe the sentences it uses and how the energy moves in your mental body.
- Use your experience of your mental body to paint a picture of how your mental body functions to your partner.
- Answer these questions: How do you use your mental body? What technologies are within your mental body, what is our experience of your mental body? What textures /colours or sensations do you have of your mental body?
- Partner takes notes on what you are saying.
- After 5 minutes your partner then has 3 minutes to tell you what their experience is of your mental body, what they notice about the patterns, shapes and strategies of your mental body.
- Use simple, descriptive language to reflect back to you what they notice.
- After three minutes make notes on anything they said then swap roles.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.18 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing you discovered about your Mental Body.
This Experiment is worth 1 Matrix Points.
GO FIRST IN DECLARING THE CONTEXT OF ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
Matrix Code RADRELAT.19
- Practise being in the open space of radical relating. Declare that every moment you are relating to another human being you are in the space of Invention.
- Context all of your relatings from a Radical Responsible Context.
- All of your interactions now take pace from this context. This means all of your relationships are an open playing field with no rules, only Results, rely on the energy and information of your Conscious Fear to go exactly to the places that hold aliveness and life force for you.
- Learn to use your Fear as a flashlight in the dark places of relating, to go towards them, unfold what is happening for you in those places.
- Choose to do this with all of the people you are in relationship with, no matter how long you have known them or the type of relationship you have. Use your fear to find out what needs saying, checking, revealing. What needs handling, what needs to fall apart.
- Listen to Feedback, the universe is a giant feedback generator, if what you are doing is working... you will be creating Intimacy, aliveness and noursing Your Being and others, then keep going. If you are creating Low Drama, or feeding your Gremlin on Resentments. This is also feedback, let in land in your heart, so you feel something, then stay Liquid enough to try something else.
- Each time you Notice you are trying to control, compete or go into scarcity in your relationships, instead feel your Fear and ask it: What do you have for me?
- Lean into your fear to have the next conversation, make the next Proposal and to reveal more of yourself first.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.19 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write one shift you made.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
NOTICE COLLABORATION, USE YOUR NOTICING TO SOURCE COLLABORATION FOR A CONSCIOUS PURPOSE
Matrix Code RADRELAT.20
Creative Collaboration is a Bright Principle , a facet of Consciousness. You have the choice to consciously go into collaboration or to unconsciously collaborate for hidden purposes such as greed, scarcity, adaptation, manipulation or conspiracy. Because most of western civilization has not undergone Initiation they are not able to consciously source collaboration, therefore as a default people unconsciously participate in mass collaborative action such as a traffic jam, where the purpose is survival or scarcity. To keep things the same and not be distributed. Shockingly if you dig deeper with your Purpose Sniffer it becomes clear that the mass collaboration of humans in modern western civilization is an act of ecocide and ultimately the destruction of life on earth. Start to Notice this.
- Go to a city with your Beep!book and plenty of water to drink.
- Shift Identity to a Researcher.
- Declare your Intention to research how humans collaborate.
- Calibrate your scanner to Scan for collaboration.
- Walk around the city for at least one hour.
- As you are walking, use your scanner to intentionally scan for collaboration among humans.
- Pause regularly to make notes in your beepbook on what you are noticing,
- Notice micro moments of collaboration between two people.
- Declare a golden cube around the whole of the city.
- Split your attention,
- Place part of your attention on the golden cube.
- Another part of your attention on your scanner which is calibrated to bring you information on collaboration.
- What do you notice about large scale collaboration between humans in the city?
- Note this down.
- Use your purpose sniffer to detect the purpose behind every moment/example of collaboration you found in the city.
- What sensations do you get in your energetic, emotional, mental, physical, and archetypal bodies when you notice each collaborative action/example.
- You will discover you can do this quite easily. That purpose reveals itself like a receding tide reveals the sand.
- Now that you have an imprint in your bodies of collaboration.
- Choose to actively call creative collaboration into spaces that you are in.
- What difference does it make?
- What becomes possible when the purpose of collaboration is conscious?
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.20 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write one thing you noticed about collaboration.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
GO THROUGH EVERY EMOTIONAL HEALING PROCESS THAT COMES UP IN RELATING TO OTHER PEOPLE
Matrix Code RADRELAT.21
- Call together a team of at least 8-10 people.
- Ask them to hold space for you to go through every doorway that comes up for you in relating to other people.
- Learn to distinguish between the feeling of fear and the emotion of fear.
- Every time you feel scared, pause and say, I feel scared because…
- If there is something that you can immediately handle from your fear, your fear will disappear once you have handled it.
- If you still feel scared for longer than 3 minutes or if you can not get any clear information from your fear. Or if you are experiencing something that you have experienced often (ie the sensations, thoughts, and the experience in your body is familiar). It is likely that you are experiencing an emotional fear.
- Write this fear down, immediately and ask for a space to go through the healing process.
- When emotional fears come up, ask for a spaceholder and go through the EHP
- If your relationship with your parents is still in survival or you are still living in their bubble, write down every EHP that stops you from exiting their bubble and standing on your own feet.
- Start to disentangle emotional reactivity from the feeling of fear by checking in every day with one person from your team with your feelings, have them ask you : is that a feeling or an emotion. If it is an emotion, write it down in your beepbook and go through the healing process.
- Write all your notes and gold that you discover from your processes to your EHP healing team.
- Do this consistently for at least 2 weeks (i.e daily check ins and one EHP every two days at least).
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.21 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one emotional fear process you went through.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
LET FEEDBACK IN AND LET YOURSELF GO LIQUID
Matrix Code RADRELAT.22
- Ask for a team of two or three people.
- Tell them they are your Feedback team.
- Meet for a minimum of 6 weeks for one hour
- In that time their job is to use their Gremlins to give you honest clear feedback on how your Box and Gremlin run your relationships, how they are interferring with creating Intimacy.
- Your job is to radically let their feedback into your heart
- Let it shatter your world so that you can feel the impact of what they are saying.
- Do not let yourself be put back together.
- Instead, rage, cry, scream, shake in fear, let everything in through your heart so that you are feeling.
- Radically trust that everything they are saying to you, you need to feel, not just hear.
- Do this for at least 10minutes
- Do not defend your self or try to block what they are saying. They are your trainers, intiators, courageous teammates telling you what noone else is.
- During the week, your job is to stay in the precious Liquid State the feedack has given you.
- Keep your Numbness Bar low and feel your Feelings and Emotions.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.22 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section name one thing that is now possible for you, that was not before. This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
BE UNREASONABLE IN COMMITING TO RADICAL RELATING WITH ANOTHER SO THAT ANYTHING THAT STANDS IN THE WAY SIMPLY MELTS AWAY
Matrix Code RADRELAT.23
- Start by choosing one relationship that you will not compromise your Commitment to radically relating.
- Notice in what ways your Box, Gremlin or Survival Strategies are still active. Do this by listing under each heading, the ways that those parts of you are active in this relationship.
- Eg. Box- tries to keep the intensity of connection the same. Gremlin - controls by slipping casual critisms to the person, Survival Strategy - Emotional Fear of being alone means I only make ordinary offers.
- Decide that you will no longer let those parts of you dictate how you relate.
- If the other person is Reacting with their box, gremlin or survival strategy, it is no longer any of your business.
- For absolutely No Reason you have decided that this one relationship will be radical, therefore you commit to making Nonlinear offers of Extraordinary Intimacy and go first constantly in revealing what is happening for you.
- Practice going beyond your Box, so that Your Being is in contact with the Being of the other person.
- No longer will you let circumstances, reasons or other Contexts bend your commitment to Radical Relating. Now your relating comes from a place of ecstatic creation, offers of collaboration and Intimacy Journeys, full of aliveness, Adventure, Invention and Archetypal Love.
- Anything that is not that simply melts away like snow under the sun.
- After you have done this for 6 months, start choosing more relationships, until every single encounter you make with another human being is about
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.23 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write what happened. This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
COMMUNICATE COLLABORATIVELY TO BE THE SOURCE OF RADICAL RELATING
Matrix Code RADRELAT.24
Communicating many seemingly tiny details is an art. The art is how to not use this sort of communication to fill a space with logistics. Collaborative communication is a way to collaborate with other people by making clear anything you do that might or does impact other people. This deepens your relationships by letting others know that it makes a difference to the space if you are there or not and how you interact with others too. It also enables the possibility to open a space and for Love to happen on Earth.
- Set aside 5 minutes at the start of each day to plan your day, ask your Fear “who will this impact?”
- Then let those people know the information they need about your plans and intentions.
- Become Authentic by revealing what you are up to.
- E.g. if you will be out at meal times let others know, Let others know when you will be going past a shop check if they need anything.
- Notice how as you move through a space you are interrupting the space and others. Use words to communicate what you are up to be of less disturbance to the space. Eg - “I will reach behind you”. “Excuse me, I am coming past’ or “I will open the doors now”.
- If you are going to be making a loud noise either with a machine or because you will practise your rage or go through an emotional healing process. Inform the people in the space that will be disturbed by that.
- Consistently use collaborative communication in all spaces you move in throughout your day.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.24 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section write one form of collaborative communication you used.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
EXPERIENCE RADICAL PHYSICAL RELATING
Matrix Code RADRELAT.25
- Find a partner
- Each person chooses their favourite piece of music
- One person goes first, set the timer for 5 minutes.
- The first person turns on their piece of music.
- The other person’s job is to witness the other person moving.
- The person going first waits and Notices the first impulse to move without acting on it, then they notice the second impulse to move and do not act on that either.
- Wait for the third impulse, then do that movement.
- Continue to move to your favourite music in this way.
- Let each move you make with your physical body be your third impulse.
- Stay with your own Experience, close your eyes if you need to, so that you create a safe enough space for your physical body to move how it wants to.
- The purpose of the third impulse is for you to discover and move in ways that you might not have moved before.
- Your partner simply witnesses you, whilst staying Centred, Grounded and Bubbled.
- After 5 minutes, turn off the music and come and face your partner,
- Share with your partner for 2 minutes how it was for you to move and be witnessed.
- Your partner holds an Adult Listening Space (click the link if you do not know what this is).
- Your partner thanks you, then has 3 minutes to share with you what they felt and experienced whilst witnessing you. What touched them and what they noticed. The partner's job is to share from their experience and not giving you any feedback.
- Swap roles.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.25 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section, write what you experienced in one word.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
STAND IN YOUR CULTURE WITHOUT COMPROMISE AND MAKE OFFERS OF RELATING FROM THERE
Matrix Code RADRELAT.26
- Read through the Cavitation website
- Every morning for the next 7 days, stand up, Centre, Ground and Bubble yourself then Cavitate space, in which Your Culture thrives.
- Walk around in your culture, get to know from the inside.
- Make every offer from inside of your culture.
- Write for 20minutes at 3 different times during the next week, how things go in your culture. Answering these sorts of questions: How are logistics handled? How do you relate to other cultures? What happens in drama, conflicts, creating, collaborating?
- What Levels of Responsibility are taken in your culture? How do you relate to responsibility?
- Make offers of relating from your culture that are interesting enough to turn on Your Being and the being of other people.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.25 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section, name your culture.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
EXPERIMENT WITH INTERSPECIES COMMUNICATION TO EXPLORE THE VAST TERRAIN OF RADICAL RELATING
Matrix Code RADRELAT.27
- Watch this youtube clip on the Become Magic website to expand your awareness of the types of relating that are possible between Humans and Non Humans.
- Declare that you are a researcher in the domain of interspecies communication.
- Find a non human species, (eg an insect, animal or bird),
- Start by making a connection by Being With that species.
- Do this by sitting close to it, laying near it or simply watching it, with out intruding on its space or putting any demands on it.
- Lower your Numbness Bar to your Conscious Sadness, use the energy of this feeling to make contact with the being of this other species.
- Hold inside of yourself a question for that being, or simply say "Hello".
- Then listen in all your Five Bodies for any information you recieve back.
- You might Feel something, hear something, you might recieve images or subtle waves of energy.
- Allow your self to be with the Experience of connecting with their Being.
- Notice if you try to tell stories about what is, or is not happening. Then return to experiencing the connection.
- Make any notes in your BeepBook on anything you noticed.
- Make sure you thank the being and end the conversation in a way that is natural for you.
- You can Practice this as often as you like.
After you completing this experiment, please enter Matrix Code RADRELAT.25 in your free account at StartOver.xyz. In the proof section, name your culture.
This Experiment is worth 2 Matrix Points.
NOTE: This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the free-to-play, massively-multiplayer, online-and-offline, thoughtware-upgrade, matrix-building, personal-transformation, adventure-game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can relocate your point of origin and create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness and leave behind a low drama life of reactivity. No one can upgrade your thoughtware for you. More interestingly, no one can stop you from upgrading your thoughtware. Our theory is that when we collectively build 1,000,000 new Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code RADRELAT.00 to log your Matrix Point for reading this website on StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!
- NOTE: This website is a Bubble in the Bubble Map of the free-to-play massively-multiplayer online-and-offline thoughtware-upgrade matrix-building personal-transformation real-life adventure-game called StartOver.xyz. It is a doorway to experiments that upgrade your thoughtware so you can relocate your point of origin and create more possibility. Your knowledge is what you think about. Your thoughtware is what you use to think with. When you change your thoughtware, you go through a liquid state as your mind reorganizes itself. Liquid states can bring up transformational feelings and emotions. By upgrading your thoughtware you build matrix to hold more consciousness and leave behind a low drama life of reactivity. No one can upgrade your thoughtware for you. More interestingly, no one can stop you from upgrading your thoughtware. Our theory is that when we collectively build 1,000,000 new Matrix Points we will change the morphogenetic field of the human race for the better. Please choose responsibly to read this website. Reading this whole website is worth 1 Matrix Point. Doing any of the experiments earns you additional Matrix Points. Please use Matrix Code RADRELAT.00 to log your Matrix Point for reading this website on StartOver.xyz. Thank you for playing full out!